World needs your broken-open heart....by Belle Heywood

And softly, after a long silence
that went on and on for days,
the Beloved said:

I would secret you,
I would hide you away in the forest
but the world needs you
the world needs to see your broken open heart
and spending your life
hidden in the forest
would be to hide from the world a great gift.

the world needs to see you
even if they don't know they see you
the world needs to be around your broken open heart
and the lack of veils on your eyes

I said to Beloved:
i feel like Mira:
Unable to live on the earth,
Mira ventured out alone in the sky ....

But I turned to the people and said:
i admire all of you who can walk the streets of this world
with your head held up.

all who can take in all the detritis of delusion
with a cheerful smile or even the joy of participation.

is it your wisdom or your ignorance that keeps you in the word, my dear?
for each one of you it will be a different answer and a different story.

I am not of this world,
and each step in it is a painful step through a dream i can't awaken from.

I have retreated from this world since i first went to 'school'.
So shocked by the cruelty and attachment and politics in human hearts,
i sought refuge in the sky and the trees and the Dharma.

My Guru knows only All Pervasive Joy
and invites us all to realization of
No Problem,

when will i wake from this nightmarish experience of all the suffering
in the world and meet my Guru where He is?

Am i being cooked for this union
or am i nowhere near His Pot and wandering far from home?

Maybe I'm going to find the One who is Sad,
I know She or He is sitting somewhere on a Hill -
weeping constantly
howling about this filthy world

I'm going to sit at Her Feet
and let her tears fall on my head.

I'm going to whisper,
yes i know..
and I'm going to thank Her for not
being a Happy Buddha,

I'm going to ask Her what I need to do.
She is widely proclaimed as being Enlightened too-
just as enlightened as those Blissful Ones.

And the Beloved said:
Exactly so, exactly so
and this is why I will not let you hide for your whole life
in the forest or the sky
the world needs your broken-open heart....

~ Belle Heywood

It is A Holy Tongue we share....by Belle Heywood

If only we human lovers knew 
a kiss is not a kiss
of lips alone. 

Not two
mere skins
making temporary flame.

No boys at play
rubbing sticks, creating
passing thrills of heat

It is A Holy Tongue
we share.

Speaking in Tongues
is speaking in Flame
is speaking devotion
with no beginning or end

Lips of surrender
shower upon mystery
the way a Lama throws
petals into space
to grace

Breathing is
beholding sun and moon

Moving hands
are offering
continents and Meru

There is no way to this
through intellect
but only through
a narrow gateway

the holiness of which
is only known
by those who
have the courage to pass through

If only we human lovers knew
a kiss is not a kiss
of lips alone.

~ Belle Heywood

don't wander far.... ~ Belle Heywood

When you leave from here my dear
don't go plunging into the hell realms.
without a decision to remain in love
you may well fall there.

But know that it is completely up to you
whether you become lost, lonely, confused or not

I know, because i have been to heaven too
I have been to the Purelands...
and i have had to leave

but it was up to me
i see now
what happened to me next

When you leave from here my dear
don't go plunging into the hell realms
where the suffering is so great
there is barely no chance to have one's ears
free enough from agony
long enough to hear a syllable of Dharma

It is a very very very long journey out of hell
so please, come back
to where you can govern your mind
with more ease now my dear

and don't wander far....

~ Belle Heywood
(don't wander far....)
Photo Belle Heywood

Gratitude is a river, not drops....by Belle Heywood

Suddenly,
i'm learning that
gratitude is a river,
not drops

If i give you only a drop
i am lying.
i am holding back.

If i describe what you have given
in parts, in bits,
how unloving that is!

you are all bread- not this crumb and that
even all bread doesn't describe or contain you
nor a river !!!! - oh i am so wrong !

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
if i thank you for one thing- i am wrong-
and yet if i don't thank you - totally wrong also !

There are no separate incidents, there are no separate 'things' to thank for
there are no things at all..
no isolated acts..

but
my small mind breaks you down
into bite sizes..
that i can 'handle'
(is this only because i am too scared to completely unite /be annihilated in you..? )
and so my thanks remains small, partial, pointable, wordable...

it is a jealous and mean act to thank you for a few things... !

only ego MANAGES love

but LOVE CAN'T BE MANAGED !

how could i ever thank you for Your Grace-

YOU who are constant, continuous,
inseparable-unchanging-unfixed,
unbreakdownable,
not the sum of parts,
not partable,
there is no metaphor or example for you

i want to say you are a flat unending, indestructible line - like the line on a screen when someone's heart has stopped beating

or the sky

but

you are
not any 'thing' at all.

~ Belle Heywood
Art by Peggy J Hughes

How can a wave not come to the shore....by Belle Heywood

It doesn't matter how many tongues i use,
or what kind.
if your heart
is on a pedastool
far away

It doesn't matter what
truth i bring forth
if it only sounds
like more words.
and only words.

Meetings can never be forced.

Meetings
are
so very rare in this world.

And yet,
the words
will arrive.

How can a wave
not come to the shore?

~ Belle Heywood

Love is love and does not ever leave or die..by Belle Heywood

Love is love and does not ever leave or die.
Love is love and remains love, totally undiminished,
undiminishable by any changing circumstance.

Only ideas change. Only bodies change.
Only emotions change. Only circumstances change.
Love is unchanging.

That is why, it is best not to put too much stock
on changing ideas, emotions, bodies, circumstances.
They do change and will change.

Stability and maturity grows
as we abide in the unchanging Heart of Love.
Abiding in the unchanging Heart of Love, we remain gentle and open and a ceaseless stream of wisdom cannot help
but illuminate all phenomena.

Faith and trust and longing to be free from suffering-
for oneself and all - brings untold and untellable blessings t
hat enable one to find this Unchanging Love.

We all long for it.
But many just presume it is a longing for sensory comforts
and material satisfactions.
And so pursue the longing for realizing Love in that way,
yet gather more and more frustration.

Everyone finds their way. There is no judgement.
If I could make a pill for Faith, I would.
And I would, without hesitation, try to give it to all.



~ Belle Heywood 

You are bursting out of me .....by Belle Heywood

You are bursting out of me 
In all directions
I wake up 
And sing out 
Your praises 
As soon as I know 

I have lips
Again.

You
Are bursting
Out of me
In all directions
All day
I sing a song of love
For You.

You
Are bursting
Out of me
In all directions
I know you are
My Love:
My All Perceiving
Beloved.

You are bursting
Out of me
In all directions
I am immobile
Only You
Move me.

You are bursting
Out of me
In all directions
Nothing but You
Is What I Say.

You are bursting
Out of me
In all directions
Ever present
In Every way.


I am no longer my "self ".

I am only this
Love.

You
Are
Bursting

Out........

~ Belle Heywood

What is this anger...?....by Rumi

What is this anger?
You left me no food, 
and took my sleep away.

You turned your face from me,
Then directed me to the Mihrab.

You changed the taste in my mouth,
It’s more bitter than poison.

You scared the daylight out of me,
You melted my lungs with your sorrow.

You sent me to Hadj,
And made me lose my way in the desert.
You gave my camel, my belongings, to Arabs.

Sometimes, you give a drought,
Burn my crops, and dry my fruits.

Sometimes you give a flood,
And wipe away everything with rain.

If I run away from your roof,
You hit me with arrows.

If I climb your roof,
You bring me down with melodies.

When I behave, you say,
“Come on, you are not drunk.”

When you don’t like my manner,
You start telling stories about morals.

If your kindness rains on my roof,
You turn my eyes into a gutter with tears.

When I ceased to associate with people,
When I became recluse,
“Now,” you said, “you turned into a monk.”

When I socialize, you make my friends enemies to me.
If I wrap my heart with your sorrow, like linen,
If I would be weaved by your troubles,
You melt me like linen under the moonlight,
You destroy me from my source.

When I believe, trust you,
“Reason is our way”, you say.
When I start reasoning,
You say, “Logic is not good.”

You hunt the falcon of the soul,
And break its nails.
The body becomes a trained dog,
You make him weak, tired and old.

If the jeweler of our face’s color opens a store,
You tell everyone,
“Our jeweler sells fake goods,”

Giving me a bad reputation.
Who am I?

Even the real morning trembles at your door.
By fear, “He may find me out as a liar.”

You destroy everything,
Then you gave a hundred times more back.

You send winter,
Then you bring spring,
Making everything green again.
You cut the neck of the stars,
With the sword of the Sun.
Then give them a face like a hünnap,
Offer sparkles.

When man stays silent,
“Talk”, you say.
When he talks,
You say, “Be silent.”
Why are you knocking such a door?

~ Rumi
(What is this anger?)
Mihrab Niche in a mosque’s wall facing Mecca
You melt me like linen under the moonlight An old belief
hünnap Jujube (botanical term)
Photo by Belle Heywood

Goodnight world..........by Belle Heywood

Goodnight world,
with your many kinds of elbows and wings.

Goodnight world 
with your many kinds of funny things.

Good night world
with your many kinds of hearts and bins

Goodnight world
with your many kinds of flashes and spins

Goodnight world
with your many kinds of cushions and pins

Goodnight world
i silently sing....!

~ Belle Heywood

The poverty of my small love....by Rabia

I die , and yet not dies in me
The ardor of my love for Thee.

Nor hath Thy love , my only goal
Assuaged the fever of my soul.

To Thee alone my spirit cries
In Thee my whole ambition lies.

And still Thy Wealth is far above
The poverty of my small love.

~ Rabia
The Essence of Sufism
by John Baldock

Belle art by Belle Heywood

My joy My Hunger My Shelter My Friend ...by Rabia

My joy 
My Hunger 
My Shelter 
My Friend 

My Food for the journey
My journey's End
You are my breath,
My hope,
My companion,
My craving,
My abundant wealth.

Without You
my Life, my Love
I would never have wandered
across these endless countries.

You have poured out so much grace for me,
Done me so many favors, given me so many gifts
I look everywhere for Your love
Then suddenly I am filled with it.

O Captain of my Heart
Radiant Eye of Yearning in my breast,
I will never be free from You
As long as I live.

Be satisfied with me, Love,
And I am satisfied.

~ Rabia
Art by Belle Heywood