i'm learning that
gratitude is a river,
If i give you only a drop
i am lying.
i am holding back.
If i describe what you have given
in parts, in bits,
how unloving that is!
you are all bread- not this crumb and that
even all bread doesn't describe or contain you
nor a river !!!! - oh i am so wrong !
if i thank you for one thing- i am wrong-
and yet if i don't thank you - totally wrong also !
There are no separate incidents, there are no separate 'things' to thank for
there are no things at all..
no isolated acts..
my small mind breaks you down
into bite sizes..
that i can 'handle'
(is this only because i am too scared to completely unite /be annihilated in you..? )
and so my thanks remains small, partial, pointable, wordable...
it is a jealous and mean act to thank you for a few things... !
only ego MANAGES love
but LOVE CAN'T BE MANAGED !
how could i ever thank you for Your Grace-
YOU who are constant, continuous,
not the sum of parts,
there is no metaphor or example for you
i want to say you are a flat unending, indestructible line - like the line on a screen when someone's heart has stopped beating
or the sky
not any 'thing' at all.
~ Belle Heywood
Art by Peggy J Hughes